I guess the best way to start this blog, would be to introduce myself. Although, this blog really isn’t about me, or for me. It’s for all of us. The moms who are struggling, the moms who doubt themselves, the moms who aren’t ever sure if they’re doing what’s best.
I found out my son, Nate, was autistic at his 2-year milestone appointment with our family doctor. At every appointment through infancy, he exceeded expectations and excelled at every physical milestone. It wasn’t until speech came into play, that he started slipping. He never met his speech milestones. For a while, we shrugged it off. It was COVID, he wasn’t exposed to other kids, I was home with him full-time… the list of reasons WHY he was delayed went on. Finally, at 2 years old, our doctor asked if Nate enjoyed spinning.
“Well, yeah. He loves it. Why?”
Believe it or not, that was the red flag that started the concern into Nate’s development.
Fast forward to 2 weeks before Nate’s third birthday. The official assessment. It was done over Zoom, on a day Nate was sick, and during his naptime. Nope, I was not given a choice as to when his appointment was. We suffered through – Nate never leaving my lap to play, or chat, or do anything typical of him. He simply wanted to sleep and snuggle. Instead of rescheduling, they cut the assessment time short, and wrote their review anyway.
A week before his third birthday, we got the official diagnosis. Level 3 Severe Autism Spectrum Disorder, nonverbal. I was given the “talk” – the list of things that were “wrong” with my child, that made them diagnose him as severely Autistic. The list of things he will probably never do. The “snapshot” of what my life will look like.
After grieving (yep, I grieved. And I grieved hard), I got determined. Sorry, I actually became more than determined. I became dedicated. Dedicated to teaching my son, dedicated to giving him all the chances and experiences a neurotypical child gets. Dedicated to seeing my son for him, not as a diagnosis. Dedicated to making him feel equal, included, loved, and supported. Just like I do with my step-son, just like I will do with my daughter.
For Autism Awareness Day (April 2, 2022) we put together “Nate’s Crew.” Tie-dyed t-shirts, worn by everyone he loves, with the words “Nate’s Crew” on the back. Friends, coworkers, neighbours all wore blue or tie-dye shirts to show their support of the Autism community. These people, they rallied together effortlessly for Nate. Seeing the love, devotion, support and understanding on that day – it made me push harder.
Alas, my dream of “The Spectrum Mom” began to form. A place where other Autism parents can read, accept, appreciate, learn, support and love each other. Where you’ll never feel alone for wanting a break from your neurodivergent child. Where you’ll never be criticized for the type of therapy you enroll your child in. Where you’ll see it’s normal to mourn, grieve, cry, ANYTHING over this journey. It’s not an easy one.
This platform will not only serve as a “support” system for Autistic parents, it’ll serve as an inside look to the Autism world, for those who may not be directly or indirectly affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder. Where allies can purchase items of support, where sensory items that we all know we need are readily available, where our kids can embrace their love of their obsessions and hobbies.
This isn’t just my dream. This is just the beginning of my family’s dream. My fiancé works with Autistic adults, and dreams of becoming a music therapist. I am working on my Bachelor of Psychology, with a specialization in Autism Studies in Children, and an interest in Speech Pathology. What starts as a small online platform, will hopefully flourish and grow, into a community. A place where we can offer classes and camps for ASD children, animals for comfort, sensory spots for over-stimulation breaks, and a place for parents to love, appreciate and support each other.
Whether you’re on this journey yourself, know someone who is, or are simply checking in because you want to educate yourself – thank you. I hope you find a place of inclusion and understanding.
Now, my son has decided to rip off his underwear and run around the house naked – time to go.
Until next time.
Xo
The Spectrum Mom
Comments