We all know when we sign up to be a parent that there's going to be the obligatory issues/problems/milestones, like the obsession with poop, the picky-eating, etc. What I didn't know would become a staple saying in my house was, "NATE - get that _______ out of your mouth."
All kids go through an oral fixation stage. Without getting too technical on development, it's kinda expected that they want everything in their mouth for a bit. Babies and kids are just learning about senses, and the world around them. What better way to experience it than by TASTE!? The things they've been allowed to put in their mouth have been DELISH so far, so why would this very delicious looking pebble from the ground be any different?
One of Nate's trade characteristics is that he never really grew out of the oral fixation stage - he just kind of.... let it grow with him. He's now almost 4 years old, and I still say "keep that out of your mouth" at least 50 times a day... minimum.
We have gotten lucky, where he's smart enough to know not EVERYTHING goes in your mouth (ie: rocks, cords, cables, grass, gross things, etc). Part of that is growing out of the TYPICAL oral fixation stage. Where we run into problems is that.... if it's CHEWABLE, it's IN THERE. No questions asked. I'm talking clothes, toys, fingers, blankets, etc.
It got to a point that it was SO bad, mixed with his teeth grinding, that I would give him snack after snack after snack to make it stop. I couldn't keep things out of his mouth, and when there wasn't something in there, the teeth grinding was driving me MENTAL. It wasn't until I looked into "chewellery" on Amazon. This was a LIFE CHANGER. For a while.
Turns out, my kid is a piranha with a jaw of steel, and can chew through and destroy pretty much anything. So those cute lego-shaped necklaces, or beaded necklaces, were getting chewed apart and destroyed 2 minutes after entering the house. Now, I was fishing out pieces of silicone beads from his poop, or prying a small piece out of his mouth. His speech therapist was actually the one who showed me what different types of chewellery there was, and which ones were more "heavy duty."
We settled on a kind of corkscrew looking one, and it worked wonders. It lasted way longer than the others. The issue was, because it wasn't attached to him, when he was temporarily "done" with chewing it, he'd chuck it across the room - meaning it'd bounce and wiggle its way under a couch, a blanket, basically anywhere I could not easily find it. It drove me NUTS. I went on a mission to find a necklace that was also heavy duty, or a way to attach this dang life-saver to my kid before I went insane.
Low and behold, Nate had decided he no longer wanted to wear necklaces. As soon as one was put on his neck, he was over it. It was ripped off and thrown across the room, doomed to live with the dust bunnies under the couch for the rest of its life.
We sunk into a regression where everything and anything was going into his mouth. Because I couldn't keep up with where/what he was playing with, toys fell victim to his teeth, becoming misshapen or scraped up. Toy trains were missing paint, wheels were warped and would no longer roll, fingers on dolls and action fingers were deformed or missing.
It took until this past summer, for us to have the solution handed to us. If I could kiss the ground these day camp providers walked on, I would. They have no idea the life-saving, SIMPLE solution they brought into my home, and how very thankful I am for it.
You know those spiral hair elastics that became all the rage because they were supposed to avoid getting knotted in your hair? They don't dig into your wrists, and give you the nostalgia of the landline phone cord from your kitchen phone that you used to wrap around your fingers?
THOSE. THOSE became my saving grace. (Amazon link here)
Not only are these bad boys ABLE to go around his neck, but they can wrap around his wrist instead or just be carried. He doesn't feel inclined to THROW it, because it doesn't LOOK like a toy. He's learned that THAT is his special chew necklace and he takes care to put it carefully on the table when he's done with it. He doesn't need to hold on to it to stabilize it while chewing, so it's become the perfect "back of mind" item for him. He can play with another toy, focus on drawing or colouring, or even do some baking, because it doesn't take up any space in his mind to absently chew on it. The best thing? I can buy a pack and have them scattered EVERYWHERE. Even better? If I forget to bring one, guess who's got a spiral hair elastic on her wrist that'll do in a pinch?
Not every kid is going to have the same preferences for chewellery, which is SUPER important to remember. Also, handing them something to chew on doesn't solve the issue - we had to work hard to remind Nate to chew his necklace, not his shirt or toys, for a long time. It paid off though, because he knows to pick it up and use it when he needs to.
I've had tons of you message in about oral fixation and constant chewing. Do I think Nate will grow out of it? Not entirely - but I do think he'll continue to grow and evolve what he needs to satisfy that urge. Hell, I still bite my fingernails.
Ultimately, I'd rather provide him with something that has become a "comfort" item for him, then make him feel like he has to hide, or get in trouble for, chewing something else.
XO
The Spectrum Mom
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