I love self-help/personal development books.
Hear me out.
I understand self-help books and personal development books are not for everyone, but nothing has made me feel more seen or heard than those books. Whether they are about #MomLife, Autism, fitness, or just working on removing negativity from your life - I find them fantastic., Now I don't religiously believe everything I read. I don't immediately hop on the organizational bandwagon, or start a new fad diet because I read that it worked for someone. But I do take away other important lessons from these books.
Recently, I've been filling my literary cup with books on Autism. No, not textbooks for my psychology courses that I'm enrolled in. Instead, books written by Autistic individuals. Books containing confessions, stories, pleads of acceptance from Autistic individuals.
These books hit hard. As the mother of a non-verbal Autistic son, I find these books give me an inside look into how Nate MAY be feeling. No - not all Autistic individuals are the same. Just because one story in these books explains that they felt like their parents were disappointed in them because of their Autism diagnosis, does not mean that every ASD individual feels like that (and I sure hope Nate doesn't).
The book "The Reason I Jump" was an incredible book that really, finally helped me feel like I was in a brain similar to Nate's - seeing what was happening inside it. This book is written by a 13 year old boy with Autism, where he explains his feelings and thoughts of how he is treated, how he sees the world, his relationships, his understanding of social cues, etc.
One of the biggest hurdles for me in our ASD journey, is that Nate is non-verbal. While we can communicate with each other, and I can always ensure I'm meeting his needs, I don't have the opportunity to see into his thoughts/head. Though every individual is different, it's still nice to get a glimpse at what thoughts Nate may be thinking/feeling, or what the future may hold in terms of how he feels about his place in the world.
Another book I recently started is "Sincerely, Your Autistic Child." This book contains a collection of stories/articles/confessions from various Autistic individuals. A strong focus is on stories from grown women with Autism - most of whom were diagnosed later in life (as ASD is a diagnosis often missed in girls). I'm not too far into this book, but I've already read a paragraph that spoke to me beautifully:
"Your fears may not be reality. Stay aware and protect me, but don't fall into the trap of thinking that I am so different that you are the only one who could possibly see me as special. If I am wonderful enough for you to love me, others will see that as well. Not everyone is making fun of me. Not everyone is a potential abuser. Do not protect me so much that I do not have room to connect with others."
"I have a place in this world. The fact that I am here is proof of that. Trust that we will find that place, together."
If that doesn't hit you right in the feels, I don't know what will. Those last 3 sentences struck a chord with me. No, I have NEVER felt like my son didn't belong in this world. Do I fear for him? Absolutely. Is he going to struggle, growing up in a world where anyone who is even remotely different or unique is scrutinized? I hope not. I hope his generation is more gracious than ours.
I have learned an insane amount from reading these books. I have grown a new appreciation for those living in our world with Autism, with other disabilities, with other developmental delays, with other unique stories and personalities. I have learned through my son, to be open, kind, accepting, welcoming, and supportive., Everyday he teaches me what the individuals in those books wish they could have taught their parents. What they are striving to teach others now.
If you need some insight, if you feel lost or confused by what your child could be feeling, or you just want a good read - I highly recommend the above books.
If you need a laugh, Cat and Nat's "Mom Truths" is also a must-read!
XO The Spectrum Mom
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