Life has been crazy hectic. For those who may not know, I'm about 9 days away from giving birth to our daughter. The end of this pregnancy has been difficult and exhausting, and boyyyyyyyy it does NOT go faster just because you have 2 other kids at home.
Most of my time has been spent relaxing when I don't have the kids, and then doing learning, adventurous things with the boys when they are home. Having Nate in Kindergarten has definitely helped, because HELLO guilt-free naps while he's at school!
Thankfully, I've been super lucky. For a kiddo who theoretically should NOT be okay with change, Nate has been an absolute superhero. Aside from some small toddler-typical tantrums, we haven't faced any regressions or increased behaviours when his schedule changes, or when Mommy doesn't have the energy to do a certain activity. He's become increasingly trusting in the rest of my family, relying on them to play on the playground with him, jump on the bed, go for long walks, etc. Having my husband (oh yes, we got married!) home has also been an absolute blessing, because climbing up the bus stairs and cramming into a tiny bus seat to buckle in my kid is just NOT working for this giant pregnant belly.
I know we still have a long way to go. Both with the upcoming changes of a baby in the house, plus the new goals and tasks Nate has been given at school.
Check-in reports came home yesterday, and to say I ugly cried while reading it is an understatement. I ugly cried, then snotted everywhere, then sent it to everyone in my family, then ugly cried again later when I thought about it again.
Nate has made such an impression on his teachers and his classmates. One of their congratulatory remarks was about how he really does try to socialize and immerse himself in the same activities as his peers. He has also learned to respond to his name 99% of the time, and can even pick his name tag out of the bin at school. He has learned to trust his EAs and teachers, and can communicate rather effortlessly with them. His frustrations and confusion have massively decreased at school, and he's gotten pretty good at going with the flow.
What they want to work on at school is simple - clean up. Given that my house is a constant toy war zone, I'm not surprised that he hasn't fully grasped the "clean up what you were playing with when you're done" concept. To be honest, I blame myself. It's just easier for me to tidy/clean when the kids go to bed. So, we will be working on cleaning up after ourselves, be it putting away dinner, putting the caps on our markers, or putting our toys back in the bin. This afternoon, Nate helped me unpack his lunchbox from his backpack!
I'm thankful at Nate's obvious willingness to learn, grow and adapt to every scenario he finds himself in. Instead of becoming anxious, overwhelmed, overstimulated or frustrated, he truly does try to listen and understand every scenario and reasoning. Doesn't mean he always likes it (he's become very "vocal" about not liking certain tasks), but he does generally try to listen and apply what you've said.
I know schooling is a sensitive topic for lots of ASD parents. I know so many of you, so many of us, struggle with advocating for support for our kids. I know so many of us face daily anxieties surrounding our kids being out of our protective shells. We wonder if people are listening to them, we wonder if they have friends, we wonder what people say, we wonder if teachers and workers appreciate and protect our kids as much as we do. To the parents who have to fight daily, I see you. To the parents who are still, 4 months later, pushing for proper IEP's for their kids - I see you. To the parents who still aren't comfortable sending their kids to school - I see you.
School is, and forever will be, one of those things in the ASD world where we are all on our own journey, finding our own footholds, braving and clearing new paths.
I've said it once, I'll say it again, and I'll scream it even louder for the people in the back - YOU know your child best. Reach out for support. Homeschool. Bug the SHIT out of your local school board. You do what YOU need to do. We all have your back.
XO
The Spectrum Mom
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