Nate was a COVID child. His toddler years coincided with the COVID-19 pandemic, where everything was closed and you couldn't hug your family members who didn't live with you. So many kids were affected by this, in ways that researchers have admitted they can't even begin to explain. Socially, kids are behind. So what does that mean for our neurodivergent children, who are already struggling socially?
For Nate, it meant no daycare. I worked from home full-time, so there was no need to spend the money on placing him in daycare and risking COVID being brought into our home. He stayed home with me. Thankfully, at the time, my work schedule was flexible - and I was able to take him outside, go for walks, take play breaks, and snuggle time whenever needed. What this also meant though, was that when I was working, Nate was playing independently. Don't get me wrong - independent play is an INCREDIBLE skill for a kid to have and it has saved me many a time when I need him to be okay on his own so I can get something done, but it's also extremely saddening to see that he'd rather play on his own than with me, or with friends.
I went through a period of time wondering if I had done that to him. If I had taught him to isolate himself for convenience sake. Part of me still thinks I may have contributed to it. When I finally decided COVID had calmed down enough and things were kind of returning to normal, it may be a good idea to enroll Nate in part-time daycare, waitlists were through the roof.
Only once had Nate gone to daycare. He went once a week for a day, at a home daycare run by my friend. He was around 1.5 at the time. He lasted there for a few weeks, until my friend let me know that she simply couldn't handle him on her own. I immediately felt shame and failure, because I truly believed it was my fault he couldn't function socially (keep in mind - this is 6 months before anyone even suspected ASD).
Nate and I went back to living our lives at home, him playing independently while I worked. I made extra time to be with him and try to play with him, but he preferred watching a movie and playing alone.
Let's fast forward to the whole point of this post - the last 2 weeks. Nate is 3.5 and is heading to Junior Kindergarten in September. Thankfully, our local YMCA ran a day camp this summer that was focused on kids heading into JK, SK or Grade 1. Their program follows the school schedule for snacks, breaks and lunches, and works on independent skills kids will need come school-time. It's not geared towards Special Needs children, but that was part of the reason I was drawn to the program. Nate won't be in a Special Needs JK classroom. He will be surrounded by neurotypical children.
I worked closely with the RECE workers and organizers of the YMCA program, to help them identify Nate's triggers and the best way we handle his behaviours, to ensure consistency between home and daycare. They brought in sensory items specifically for him, to make his days more comfortable. They paid special attention to when he was approaching sensory overload and needed a break.
When the first day of daycamp rolled around, I was a MESS.
Absolutely I put on an excited, strong front for Nate (who had no clue what was going on), but shortly after dropping him off, I was panicked. I was certain I was going to get a phone call 30 minutes into the day saying Nate was inconsolable, or get told to come pick him up because he was misbehaving. When I dropped him off, he ran into the classroom, beyond excited for new toys. When I picked him up, he didn't want to leave. The daycare providers SANG his praises. They had minimal issues, none of which they couldn't handle, and absolutely adored my boy.
Every day, we woke up, got dressed, packed his lunch, ate breakfast and then excitedly headed out the door to day camp. Wednesday, they took a field trip to the Humane Society (perfect for my animal loving boy). They took the kids on a city bus and my little man did AMAZING!
Every afternoon, I picked him up and got a big, happy hug from him. We had no issues understanding that it was time to leave daycare and go home, but we would be back the next day. His transitions were getting better.
By the time the weekend rolled around, he was exhausted but SO happy. There was a massive improvement in his mood, and we decided to celebrate the awesomeness that is our boys, and took them for a campout in our backyard. This new experience, was EFFORTLESS for Nate. Everything we had put in place to handle a behaviour, we didn't need.
When Monday came, he went for his second week. He knew the drill. He was happy, excited and did NOT care that I was leaving. I have never been so happy. All week, we had rave reviews and conversations with the RECE's, who sang Nate's praises. There were next to no behaviours, transitions were now a breeze, and he was socializing with his peers.
On the last day of his second week, we walked in at 8:15 am. Every kid in the room turned to the door and yelled "it's Nathan!!" My heart SOARED. It's one thing to have adults like your child, but it's a whole other thing to have kids honestly love your child. They considered him a friend. They were genuinely excited to see him.
I left that day BEYOND happy, BEYOND thankful and BEYOND certain that my little man would rock Junior Kindergarten in September.
We are now heading into a difficult time where Nate is home from camp for 2 weeks. I'm working my hardest to rack my brain for activities, field trips, etc that we can do to keep the momentum going.
He goes back to camp for a week in August, before starting a transitional skills camp for Special Needs kids through our school board for the last two weeks of August.
I am so proud of him. I am so happy I swallowed my fears and put all my faith in my son. I am so happy I let him guide me, and let him show me just what he's capable of. We can't accomplish anything if we keep them sheltered and hidden from the world. They have too much to give.
XO
The Spectrum Mom
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