Why We Do What We Do (aside from our kids)

I wanted to share a slightly different type of post today, mostly because I've had a lot on my mind personally that I am still trying to sort through (it's been a rough week).

This post is less about Autism-inclusiveness and generality, and more of an explanation as to why my fiance and I chose to start "The Spectrum Mom."

Nick went to University for his Bachelor of Arts in Psychology. He worked for many years as a support worker for at-risk youth at an organization in Kitchener. After that, he started at his current job, where he is a direct support worker (DSW) for adults with Autism. His clients live in a group-home full-time, and are over the age of 18, living with severe (level 3) Autism. Some are non-verbal, some are immobile, and some have other medical conditions on top of their Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnosis. All of his clients are sweet, individual beings with their own personalities, struggles, strengths and hobbies.

Being the kind soul he is, Nick has formed an amazing relationship with every one of the clients at the group-home he's stationed at. While this job always allowed him to use his schooling and knowledge of Autism (textbook knowledge), it wasn't until he met my son, Nate, that he really got to see the other side of the Autism world.

We actually spend a vast majority of our evenings discussing Autism - in a positive light. We will talk about his clients, and their struggles, and see if we can brainstorm activities or solutions to their current behaviours. We'll talk about Nate and his progress. We'll talk about research papers we've read, articles we've seen, and other ideas we have. A vast majority of our "adult time" is spent discussing psychology.

Now, don't be surprised, or feel bad for us! I'm currently working on my Bachelor of Science in Psychology. Having previously graduated from College with my Diploma of Journalism Broadcast (I used to be a radio personality), I decided I needed to work more towards something that would help people. Once we started the journey of Nate's Autism diagnosis, it just made sense to focus my energies on studies that would benefit not only my son, but other families as well.

When I met Nick, I was just starting my first semester, and he was a god-send. He read every single research paper. He checked every single practice theory. He explained ANY hypothesis I wasn't quite understanding. To be honest, I think psychology and our love of kids was what bonded us right away! Whenever assignments got tough, or I started to fall behind in my readings, he was there to remind me WHY I was back in school at the age of 27.

Our conversations about Autism are what really flipped a switch in this household. As I said before, Nick was now getting to see Autism from the PARENT side, not just the worker side, or textbook side. So many of his beliefs, thoughts, problem solving was changed by meeting Nate and seeing first-hand how much work went into adapting, structuring, and nurturing a child with Autism. In his own words, he "gained a new perspective." We love to say Nick changed our lives, but I think we probably changed his too (careful how you respond to that, my love).

One of our nightly chats about Nate's progress led to the discussion of our future goals. With my Psychology degree, I thought I had wanted to become a social worker, or child therapist, to help kids and families going through an Autism diagnosis. I remember what it felt like to be told the diagnosis and then "you're on your own. Figure it out." Nick is an extremely talented musician, and has always wanted to open his own music-therapy studio for kids with Autism. He will sit and play piano with Nate, or let Nate strum on the strings of his guitar. His patience and lightheartedness makes it easy for kids to feel like they can do anything without embarrassment.

You can imagine we started dreaming about a joint studio - Nick doing music therapy, and me offering counselling. That is, until Nate's speech pathologist told me, "you NEED to become an SLP. You would be amazing at it." I started researching, and thinking, and researching some more. Being an SLP would combine my love of talking (broadcast journalism) with my need to help and make an impact on other families. It was genius.

Suddenly, a joint studio wasn't such a far-fetched idea. Heck, our dream home is a farmhouse, so why not add a disability-friendly petting zoo!? We are animal lovers, and we've seen firsthand the good that they do for our kids. Now, we're planning an entire COMPOUND devoted to disability-inclusion and education. An organization our kids can grow up in, learning about the importance of inclusion, kindness and hopefully - changing the world.

What you see now is just our beginning. Building a community, supporting others, leaving a footprint on the way Autism is viewed, is our goal. We can't wait to keep growing with you all.

XO

The Spectrum Mom