I am baffled. I am blessed. I am utterly speechless (but not really, because I'm going to keep writing).
A week ago, I officially started this blog. But the truth is, I've been working on it for a long time. I've been jotting down thoughts, writing out "entries," brainstorming ideas... all because I knew I wanted to be able to share them.
I would lay in bed at night, talking to my fiance, and say, "I can't be the only one who feels like X, Y, Z...." or, "what if I AM the only one who feels like this?" It gets lonely, spiralling in the emotions of being the parent of a neurodivergent child. Don't get me wrong, my fiance and Nate's dad both feel the effects.... but something about being a MOM just hits a little different. Even my fiance has said, "I can see where you're coming from, but I can't imagine that feeling."
It's true, and not just about moms, but about all parents in general. No 2 parents ever feel the same way. Heck, this blog may have thoughts/ideas/feelings you are 1000000% on board with, and others you may think I'm being whiny, unfair, depressing, etc. Girl, to each their own. You don't always have to feel what I feel. We don't always have to understand each other. But we do have to support each other (this is a safe space!)
Anywho, I started jotting down ideas of things and feelings awhile ago, when my fiance first told me I should write a book. I juggled with the idea for a bit, and then I just couldn't. Having read so many "autism-parent" books, I couldn't recall enough details about the miniscule things to feel like I'd be offering an accurate recount of our journey. I'd rather just blog about the topic on my mind, and eventually people will put together the pieces of who we are.
I say we, because I mean it. This is a family effort. This is the effort of a community all rallying behind the most amazing little boy (I'm biased, but so are you) I've ever met. Not just because I grew and birthed him, but because I also get to see the smiles and joy on peoples faces when they meet Nate. We all rally behind our kids, and each others kids, and that's what this world needs more of.
Support, community, love, acceptance - we need more of it. There will never ever be enough. I personally look to so many other pages and accounts for direction, acceptance and joy, such as "Three Little Birds - Raising Kids on The Autism Spectrum" and "Joy of Autism." We all adore and appreciate each other, each others kids, and the journeys we are on.
So to round it back to my original thought - I am baffled. I am so blown away by the support I have received in the past week. I finally decided to put my thoughts out to the world while having an incredibly difficult regression time with Nate. I didn't realize just how much I needed that extra community support. We have had people we don't know reach out and congratulate Nate, we have had family appreciate how hard our journey has been because they didn't know, I've had people reach out and tell me they follow this account for me. I'm B.L.O.W.N away.
From the bottom of my family's heart - thank you. We'll be back to regular non-sappy programming tomorrow!
XO
The Spectrum Mom
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